Now I Can Breathe Again

Now that our church anniversary is over, I feel like I can breathe again. The church anniversary was a wonderful time of blessing and refreshing. Each year it seems to take more and more out of me. this year I was a bit depressed, one because being in full-time ministry I am not able to go shopping like I would like to do in these special times. Also, we always have a financial obligation to handle for the church. Now if I had the money it would not be a major source of stress for me but I don't ever have to money. However, this year, I thought it would be easier for me because i had streams of income that was suppose to come in in time for me to handle this gift to the church. However, at the last minute it all fell a part. the money I thought I would have never showed up.

So of course, I was stressed trying to trust God to do what I have heard he does for others in my situation. Now I had other obligations to do, my mother brought the robe I had to order and I stepped out on faith to order the cincture and put 20.00 on it. But when the day came to pick it up I did not have the rest of the money to pay for it, so I went to the store and asked the owner if I could borrow it for the event I needed it for and would return it. He moved by God just said I will trust you and when you get the money bring it to me. God showed me that he can work in mysterious ways but still I did not get the money to pay the anniversary gift. Now the anniversary has come and gone and I could be asked any day now if i paid it. I will have to tell the truth but I keep hoping that God will come through for me.

So this leads to what is on my heart...This may sound a bit backwards but it is where I am at and I told God that I can not fake before him and he already knows this. I know the scriptures... I know that God can supply my need according to his riches in glory and through Christ I can do all things. I know that He owns a cattle on a thousand hill and the wealth of the wicked is laid up for the just. I know all this but do i really believe it. every time I have to trust God for the impossible in my finances, I tend to have very little faith. I tend to think that I don't deserve God to do it for me because in actuality, he has done it but not like he has done it for others. For example a  friend of mine got blessed with 225.00, it just appeared in her purse. Another friend  got 100.00 given to her so she could get her robe, another friend got money to help her. I know God had my mother help me with my robe. But I guess my question is, I been asking god for months now for the money to give the anniversary gift. However, I am still in need.

then there is the balance on my cincture, I guess my question in all this is God will you do it for me like you have done it for so many others. What's the difference between my faith and their faith. I know you are not a respecter of persons; so what you do for one you are bound to do for the other. I know that I can rest on that. So as I said I can breathe again and rest in knowing that God is sovereign and he will do what he wants to do, how he wants to do it and when he wants to do it. Now I am trying to learn his timing is not my timing and the things we worry about don't make him nervous. BREATHE!

You're Just Plain Rude

I am so tired of hearing people say, "I just keep it 100" or "I just keep it real" but what they are actually doing is just being plain rude. How do I know, because I have been and many times am guilty of it myself. We think if we just put that label on it that it means we can say what we want and how we want with no consequence but we put it off on the other person. We tell them to stop being so sensitive or even worse they just cant handle to truth. However, does not the Bible say do everything in love. So let me ask you something, if I love you and I cant find a way to tell you the truth in a manner that you can receive, do I really love you?

See, I would like to say people just cant handle the truth but the fact that is screaming in my head is the one that cant adapt is the one that cant handle the truth. Even Jesus did not treat every one the same way. I mean with the Pharisees, Sadducee and the scribes he was one way but the lady caught in adultery he was another way. Yes, Jesus said some raw things but notice his demeanor when saying these things. Look, I will always keep it 100 and be real, however, I don't have to leave dead bodies behind me. I don't have to wound everyone because I want to tell the truth and shame the devil.

There will come times when I will need to spit it out and it may be bitter to the one receiving but I need to do that when the Lord leads me to do such. I mean really, my mom would lay the law down and she spared not my feelings when it was needed to make me better and even though it hurt at the moment, looking back I know she did the right thing. There was even times when my Bishop has said something that made me say..."WHOA Nellie, that was harsh",  But in the end, it was needed and helped me get it right. I was not wounded fatally.

So now let me ask you something, that last email you sent reaming someone for not doing something or complaining about this or that...was it said in love? Was it sad in frustration, in the flesh, out of anger? Be real with yourself now, if you had of counted to ten before pushing send  or walked away from your computer for an hour or two would you have said the same thing in the same way? Okay maybe yours was done in person... so had you thought before opening your mouth to respond would you have said the same thing, had you ask for time to reflect would you have escalated the situation? It sounds trite and silly but just really think about it.

The Bible says that the tongue can set a forest on fire...Have you ever really thought about that. It's time we stop thinking we are the ones being misunderstood. In reality we are the ones causing the confusion. Think before you speak. That way you will keep it 100 and no one will accuse you of being fake and phony. Trust and believe. AND I ask that you keep me on the straight and narrow also.


(c) 2011 Evangelist Linda A. Hillman

Your Help Needed

There are opportunities to expand WHOLE Ministries and Living Above Hurt Ministries.

I am asking you to see the good that these ministries can offer to those that are hurting, dealing with addictive habits and hangups. These ministries operate as free services to those that come for help. However, we can not continue helping those in need without your help.

There is a need for $3,000 to pay for supplies, renting rooms for services, food, clothes and providing counseling for rape, domestic violence victims and other violent crimes. we also provide training to those seeking employment and resume services.

In this economy, we all need a helping hand and we do not want to turn anyone away. Please send your donations to Evangelist Linda Hillman via PayPal at evangelistlindahillman@hotmail.com or send your money orders/checks to 4719 Quail Lakes Drive Ste G-347, Stockton, CA 95207 make money orders/checks payable to Linda Hillman.

To reach our goal, it only takes 60 people to send $50.00, or 120 people to send $25.00, or 300 people to send $10.00. Any donation is helpful. Please pass along to your friends and family that are looking for a nonprofit to donate to.

All donations are tax - deductible and all monies will be used for ministry. Your help appreciated. I know that we all want to help those that are coming through these ministry and even if you cant help in person your donations will help get the job done. The opportunities being presented to these ministries are absolutely wonderful and in time will allow us to serve more and spend our services to different areas.

Thanks for taking the time to read this message. Please make a donation, even if you think someone else is doing it, make a donation to help.

Evangelist Linda Hillman

Accountability Is Responsibility

"Scholar Viktor Frankl, neurologist and psychiatrist, founder of logo-therapy and one of the key figures in existential therapy, in his book Man's Search for Meaning recommended 'that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast (that has become a symbol of Liberty and Freedom) should be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.' His thought was that 'Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness.'"

I have been thinking a whole a lot about accountability. At first it was accountability versus responsibility, then I realize that you can not have accountability without responsibility. There in lies the rub. Many people want greatness and want fame but they do not want to be held accountable or responsible. Thus you get people making up the rules as they go because no one has defined the rules for them. Actually, we in America have the "You're not the boss of me" syndrome. We don't want anyone to question our actions and we want to play by our own made up rules, that we will bend to favor our situations every time.

"Accountability is a concept in ethics and governance with several meanings. It is often used synonymously with such concepts as responsibility, answerability, blameworthiness, liability, and other terms associated with the expectation of account-giving" (wikipedia.com)

I remember as a child I would play games and each time I played the game I would make up my own rules and when one of my friends would question me, I would change the game or intimidate them until they backed down from the challenge. I find that in my adult life, I do the same thing. I am good at expressing what I want to say and if someone seems to second guess themselves, I will intimidate them until I get my way. well, of course this causes people to think of me as pushy, mean, unbending and other adjectives, I am sure you can guess. However, as I thought about this the question came to me...Is this what I have called you to be? Did I call you to be an island to yourself? My thoughts flooded with scriptures trying to defend my position. I don't need any one to tell me what I should be doing because I have to "work out my own salvation with fear and trembling." (Philippians 2:12). But when I look at this scripture closer something leaped out to me. Let's look at it briefly:

And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Philippians 2:11-13

Okay, now that does not sound like I get to do it my own way. It sounds like I have been taught how to act according to certain guidelines and rules. It sounds like I have a responsibility to God to obey the things I have been taught. Not to go about making my own rules and acting stubborn. If I say that I am a Christian, then I should act accordingly. Christians are not self existing agents. We should have a covering and there should be someone that holds us accountable to do what we have been taught and do what is right in the sight of the Lord. This brings glory to God. So let me ask this...If God is a God of order and he has set certain things in place, such as church authority, why would I consider myself immune to God's ordained hierarchy?

I have friends who tell me that they don't have to go to a church but they can do ministry without a covering. God knows their hearts and they are only accountable to God. On the onset, that sounds good. However, when I read Romans 13:1-2 and Hebrews 13:7, 17, I see that it was never God intention for us not to have a covering. He did not say we have to agree with that covering or even like the covering, however, we are to respect, honor and adhere to (obey) the covering. So, it is my responsibility to be held accountable to those that God has set over me because in actuality they are accountable to Him concerning me.

"Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation." (Romans 13:1-2)

"Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation." (Hebrews 13:7)

 "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." (Hebrews 13:17)

So where does my thoughts take me in all this...as I learn how to be obedient to my authorities, I need to also learn submission. I need to understand that God knows who he has set over me and His concern for me is to walk in integrity.  For the bible says, anyone in authority should be on who is blameless, in other words we should be people of accountability not only to authority but to those we serve.

"For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee: If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly."(Titus 1:5-6)

 My prayer is that I am blameless and can be held accountable and responsible for the things I say and do. Which means, those that are covering me should call me on the carpet if my actions are questionable. Instead of becoming pushed out of shape and angry, I just need to give an account. In the end hopefully when they are called to give an account about me, they will say, That I was good and faithful and they will say it with joy and not sorrow.

Andrew M. Manis: When Are WE Going to Get Over It?

Andrew M. Manis is associate professor of history at Macon State College in Georgia and wrote this for an editorial in the Macon Telegraph.
For much of the last forty years, ever since America "fixed" its race problem in the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, we white people have been impatient with African Americans who continued to blame race for their difficulties. Often we have heard whites ask, "When are African Americans finally going to get over it?

Now I want to ask:

"When are we White Americans going to get over our ridiculous obsession with skin color?

Recent reports that "Election Spurs Hundreds' of Race Threats, Crimes", "Sarah Palin Says, It's Time To Reload", or Glenn Beck saying, "We All Need To Grab Our Guns And Get Ready", should frighten and infuriate every one of us. Having grown up in "Bombingham," Alabama in the 1960s, I remember overhearing an avalanche of comments about what many white classmates and their parents wanted to do to John and Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King. Eventually, as you may recall, in all three cases, someone decided to do more than "talk the talk."

Since our recent presidential election, to our eternal shame we are once again hearing the same reprehensible talk I remember from my boyhood.

We white people have controlled political life in the disunited colonies and United States for some 400 years on this continent. Conservative whites have been in power 28 of the last 40 years. Even during the eight Clinton years, conservatives in Congress blocked most of his agenda and pulled him to the right. Yet never in that period did I read any headlines suggesting that anyone was calling for the assassinations of presidents Nixon, Ford, Reagan, or either of the Bushes. Criticize them, yes. Call for their impeachment, perhaps. But there were no bounties on their heads. And even when someone did try to kill Ronald Reagan, the perpetrator was non-political mental case who wanted merely to impress Jody Foster.

But elect a liberal who happens to be Black and we're back in the sixties again. At this point in our history, we should be proud that we've proven what conservatives are always saying -- that in America anything is possible, EVEN electing a black man as president. But instead we now hear that school children from Maine to California are talking about wanting to "assassinate Obama." 

Fighting the urge to throw up, I can only ask, "How long?"
How long before we white people realize we can't make our nation, much less the whole world, look like us? 

 
How long until we white people can - once and for all - get over this hell-conceived preoccupation with skin color?

 
How long until we white people get over the demonic conviction that white skin makes us superior?

 
How long before we white people get over our bitter resentments about being demoted to the status of equality with non-whites?

How long before we get over our expectations that we should be at the head of the line merely because of our white skin? How long until we white people end our silence and call out our peers when they share the latest racist jokes in the privacy of our white-only conversations?

I believe in free speech, but how long until we white people start making racist loudmouths as socially uncomfortable as we do flag burners? How long until we white people will stop insisting that blacks exercise personal responsibility, build strong families, educate themselves enough to edit the Harvard Law Review, and work hard enough to become President of the United States, only to threaten to assassinate them when they do?  

How long before we start "living out the true meaning" of our creeds, both civil and religious, that all men and women are created equal and that "red and yellow, black and white" all are precious in God's sight?

Until November 4, 2008, I didn't believe this country would ever elect an African American to the presidency. I still don't believe I'll live long enough to see us white people get over our racism problem.  
 
But here's my three-point plan:  
  First, everyday that Barack Obama lives in the White House that Black Slaves Built, I'm going to pray that God (and the Secret Service) will protect him and his family from us white people.

Second, I'm going to report to the FBI any white person I overhear saying, in seriousness or in jest, anything of a threatening nature about President Obama.
   Third, I'm going to pray to live long enough to see America surprise the world once again, when white people can "in spirit and in truth" sing of our damnable color prejudice,
 
  "We HAVE overcome."

Have you Got My 1st Published Book?

At the age of fourteen, I made up in my mind that I would never do drugs, never become a whore, nor would I loose my mind and I would be a success. Why did I make such an affirmation? Well, a very significant occurrence happened at fourteen, actually several life changing events happened. The first being, I told my mother that a man we trusted had molested me for seven years. As my mother looked at me, I saw the light dim in her eyes. Not only had she failed me as a nurturer and a protector, she knew how I was feeling because she too as a child had been molested. For the first time in my life, I saw a strong woman wonder, how she could rectify this situation without worse making matters. You see, she had sensed things were not right but did not want to cause trouble by planting ideas, if she was wrong. She did not want to make the same mistakes as her mother. So this is a message to mothers, if you sense something is wrong with your child you are probably right. It is better to be safe and protect your child than to be too lenient. As I watched my mother struggled with the idea that this matter could not continue, I felt her pain. However, I wanted to be free of the horror, I had lived with for so many years, the shame that I had felt and the sheer hatred and anger that would boil out of me at the most inappropriate times. I found myself fighting for the sake of fighting. It was almost as if I was trying to control others because I had to surrender control in the still of the night to him. I remember my first fistfight in the sixth grade. I felt liberated with every blow, at this point, I realized that all my anger, my stress, and even rage could be let out on the person I was fighting. The great part about it, to me, was I did not lose, and I walked away with some sense of power. But did I really?


Order your copy directly from me today. (209) 910-4055. 11.99 plus s/h and taxes.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

I came across this and thought I would share this with my readers. I hope you all enjoy it, because this is something I would have said too. - Linda

I’m not one to know the latest pop or R&B songs, but I do know that a popular theme these days is independence. I overheard someone talking about a song entitled, “Independent” and thought I’d look up the lyrics out of curiosity. The only thing was that the lyrics were so profane that I couldn’t even read through them all. Still, it’s the in thing to be independent for those in the world. Many women tout that they don’t need men, and there are loads of men who admire women who don’t need them. We won’t even discuss how many men want to be independent of the responsibility of having wives and children. So, it’s no surprise that many children feel that they don’t need their parents. Finally, there are far too many people who feel like they don’t need God.

While independence does have attributes in the right context, for the most part, glamorizing it has many pitfalls. The Bible instructs us over and over again to depend on God. Yet, when life is going according to our plans and feels easy, we tend to lose our dependence on Him. We can slip into the attitude that says, “That’s okay, I got this one, God.”

However, we must depend on God for everything at all times. Making the decision to depend on Him isn’t a sign of weakness but true strength. As believers, we don’t live by life’s changing circumstances. In the face of possible death, Paul passes on comfort and advice to other believers. He explains in II Corinthians 1:8-9, “we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life. But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead.” Even in the midst of struggle and suffering, Paul reminds us not to trust in ourselves, but God.

Why should we depend on Him? We should depend on Him because He won’t fail us like people, plans, and things often do. Psalm 121:2 says, “My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.” God created us out of His image, and He knows us. He knows our hurts and understands our burdens. In fact, Matthew 8:17 says that Jesus, “Himself took our infirmities and bare our sickness.” It doesn’t matter what the problem is, He can handle it. We just have to trust Him and cast our cares on Him.

We should depend on God because His love for us is constant and never changes. David says, “for all that is in heaven and earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all. Both riches and honour come of thee, and thou reignest overall; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all” (II Chron. 29:11-12). He loves us. He created us, and we should acknowledge His power, might, and greatness.

Depending on God means that we need Him, not just when the going gets rough but just like the air we breathe, we need Him to survive. We must have faith in Him and trust Him with everything. Furthermore, when we depend on God, we submit our will and desires to His authority and His Word. We have to submit to Him and obey Him. We can’t just trust Him with things we feel comfortable letting Him have. He wants us to have total and complete dependence on Him, so we have to let Him have everything.

On a final note, I do want to add that we also need one another. God created Adam and said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Gen. 2:18). As believers, we make up the body of Christ. In chapter twelve in I Corinthians, Paul says that just as the body has many members but is one, so is the body of Christ. We all need each other to complete the work that God has for us to do and to draw others to Him.

When I hear people say that they don’t need anyone, a red flag goes up. I wonder who has hurt or let that person down. We may avoid some hurt and rejection by being independent, but we morph those negatives into an abyss of selfishness, anger, depression, loneliness, and a host of other problems. God has shown me that when I completely depend on Him, my life is filled with peace and joy. I can then reach out freely to others, knowing that just as I am not perfect, no one else is either. I am not tossed to and fro by life’s ups and downs because my total dependence is on Him, the One who holds my future and the world in the palm of His hands.

Depend on Him for that very thing that you’ve been holding onto, refusing to give to Him. Trust Him with it, and watch Him perform a miracle. Your decision to trust Him will empower you with supernatural strength to overcome any obstacle Satan throws your way.

Drop me a line on the Abiding in the Vine FB group page or on www.MaRitaTeague.blogspot.com

Blessings,MaRita

Wicked Linda Is Dead, But Who Is That?

Okay three weeks ago...

I thought I really need to make money or else I have to get a real job. So, I got real determined to do...nothing! Well that is not true but it should be because in the end that is what I did. A big flat nothing. I allowed opportunities to pass me by. I did not ask for what I wanted and I allowed myself to think negatively. This is all contrary to who I say that I am. SO, why would I, Coach Linda Hillman, Empowerment Coach Guru slip back into self destructive habits. Why would I allow myself to give up on me? So many times I tell others "Don't give up on you because I wont" but yet I was not practicing what I preached.

Then it came to me, the struggle is not in the fight but my thoughts. I was willing to fight but had lost sight of what I was fighting for. I want to help people to be the best they can be but that does not come without obstacles on their part and MINE! The things I was facing was I was attracting the people who were interested but not ready to make the change. I was attracting those that said it sounds good, and wow I see why I need your services but were not tired of living in the current situations. I was attracting those similar to myself. WOW that hurts.

What I mean is that I was willing to look in the mirror of life and see the discomfort, I was even willing to acknowledge that change was  needed but I was not willing to make the necessary changes. I was not willing to step out of my comfort zone no matter how much that comfort zone was costing me. I was not willing to invest in me like I was telling my clients to do. So as long as things were free to me I would go full force but as soon as you ask for financial commitment, I was ready to back away stating all  kinds of excuses. Now listen, we find time to do what we want to do. IF we really want something we will do whatever it takes to get that. I understand there are some real issues in this world. I have been self employed for two years going on my third year. So, I know what it means to have NO MONEY. So what am I really willing to do at this point.

Here's the deal, I am willing at this point to stop the MADNESS!! no more games and especially no more lies to my clients or anyone else especially me. Well, I have not told a dishonest thing to anyone. I have just not told everything. Withholding truth is just like lying to me. I think well, they don't need to know this or they don't need to know that but in the course of what I am trying to accomplish, people, my clients need to see the real deal. So I made a pledge.. ONLY the Truth. No more holding back and making excuses.

I hope that you will join me on my journey of self transformation. Let's grow together and make our lives better. So, now a more honest Coach Linda and hopefully my clients will appreciate the transformation in my techniques to coach them to success and those of you that are okay with who you are not achieving your goals, sitting in the same comfort zone that has you standing still and not moving forward, waiting for your next big break that you will allow to pass you by because you are not committed to investing in your life, and those of you that say that sounds good but... I leave your world now...I am off to love me, care for me and accept all that is right for me. I am no longer willing to stand idly by and let my life run it's course with no direction. I am taking matters into my own hands, taking responsibility and hold myself accountable.

So I will see you at the top... or will I? Let me put it this way...I'll be at the top, will you? Time is running out what will you do with the time you have remaining?

Today I wonder

Today I wonder why there are so many people out there saying and doing things that are causing others to falter. I wonder why, when someone truly cares for an individual, they get slapped in the face with obstacles and hangups. On the other hand, when someone is only trying to make a fast buck, they get all the attention.Today, I struggle with my own heart. Should I continue to try to care for others when they clearly want me to only say in word I care but my deeds are far from it. I can not give up but my heart seems to be overwhlemed today with worry.

I want so badly to help those that can benefit from my knowledge but how do I get it to the ones that really need and not just the ones coming to toss it aside. Who am I trying to reach? Who even cares? Well, of course I do but how do I tell them I do?

That's all. That's my hear for today. But who cares?

Why Are You Copying Me, Weren't You Uniquely Made

Don't you just want to tell some people to get their own life. It's not that you are not honored that they want to be like you. However, you have had to fight, kick, scream and pull to get where you are, right? Most people don't realize what you have gone through to get where you are. They see the good times and think that is all there is.

Well, what do you tell people when they say, "Hey, I want to do that too." I guess I am not talking about those that may have a calling similar to our own. Nonetheless, there are those that just mimic others. they don't understand that they are made and suppose to be unique. Unique now there's a word. We are all created for a specific purpose, yet many of us are content at trying to be anything but what they should be.

Okay, let me break this down, I know that some people may have the same ideas. However, come on, how many times have you heard about someone that was doing something with their life and you said, "Hmm, why didn't I think of that?" Time evolves and you find yourself, taking that path. I know we all have done it . Maybe not to the extreme of copying them but we have tried to imitate them. If you are honest you will agree with that statement. Some say that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Then May I should be flattered but I am not.

Why, you may ask. Well let me say this, I need you to be what you were created to be. I need you to be your unique self. No one else can do the things you are destined to do and without you doing them, they may never get done. So think about it. Be your authentic self.

You were created as a designer original, so don't settle to be a carbon copy.

Frustrated...Irritated But What To Know What's Really Going On?

Okay, Here's the rub...

I want to be careful not the say this so it sounds like I am complaining because really I am not. This is just my opinion and observation. So let me begin with this... I would like to know how many people are doing what God has designed them to do? How many people are living the life God created for them to live? How many people do you know are making the impossible possible with God's help? Now thinking about your answers...How many of those people are you supporting in any form?

I ask this because I had a dream last night about my family, my ministry and the body of Christ. Now this dream was not a bad dream but I do believe it was prophetic. I do not claim to be able to interrupt dreams so if you are reading this and you know what the meaning is PLEASE tell me. So here's the dream:

I was getting ready for a speaking engagement and my sister (Stephanie) was sitting on my bed holding my niece and talking with me about life in general. We chatted and I started to put on my make-up. the thing that really stuck out to me was the process that I put on my make up was different from my normal routine. In that I normally start with my conceal then I put on my foundation and then sometimes I put on that compressed translucent powder to keep the makeup from rubbing off onto clothes. After this I will put on eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, lip liner,blush and finally my lipstick. But in my dream I put on my foundation and then all other makeup finishing with concealer and translucent powder. My sister noticed that I kept saying something is wrong, this is not right but I could not correct it. My niece began to cry and we looked at her face and it seemed some insect had bitten her over the eye. My nephew then came in the room crying uncontrollably and I turned around quickly to see that some shadow figure was following him. I immediately thought it was a spirit and remembering myself pleading the blood of Jesus but then the shadow became a solid figure and I recognized that it was the Body of Christ. ( I know, and Yes, I am a part of that body). So this figure sits down and everything seems to change, becomes normal. As I continue to prepare, my sister says she hopes I do well and that the anointing flows as I speak life into the lives of those that will be present. She then hands me $100. The body of Christ then begins to murmur and complain about her giving me the money. My niece once again begins to cry, and my nephew becomes agitated. the body of Christ continues to complain and speak negative about what my sister did. As I finish up I ask the body of Christ where is the support suppose to come from if not from those that have a heart to give in whatever manner they feel led...The body of Christ says that it comes from those receiving the ministry. I try to understand their complaints but it seems to not make since as they talk and their words become like the teacher on Charlie Brown. So then my sister says, but Linda your ministry is to the devastated and hurting. Those without hope right? I said yes, she continues if these people are in a bad way they may or may not be able to support you the way they would like so there has to be others that God has prepared to support you until those receiving the blessing can. I feel so led. It's to say I believe that the God in you can change the lives of those you come in contact. The Body of Christ got even more angrier. So, as I got ready to leave, my other sister Jessica said Linda here is another $100 to give to someone that will be in need at the meeting. The Body of Christ tried to knock the money out of my hands. My sisters tried to push them back and said of all people you should be supporting her. She is one of you. She sings in your churches, preaches to your people and prays for each of you.. But when it comes for you to support her she is left desolate. When she needs prayer there is no one to pray for her so she must pray for herself, when she is discouraged she must encourage herself, when she is struggling, there is no one to help but to criticize and beat her down more...As, a family you should do what we are doing - support her not just financially but in every way, just as she supports you. As this conversation was going on, I left to go speak to the people and then I woke up.

My frustration comes from this, we as a people are so into what we are doing for god we forget that others have ministries that may need our support and we forget that without God we could not do what we are doing. I am irritated that we (I include myself) are so quick to say that someone is trying to scam us for our money, or that I will not support because someone else will. What happens when all feel that way? who then supports those out there living their purpose and doing what God called them to so. I am not talking about the scam artist but the True men and women of God. We as the Body of Chrsit have got yo take care of our won. So what is really going on. I understand being moved by the spirit but isn't it disobedience of the spirit of God tells you to do something and you do not do it because you think: they don't deserve it, don't need it, or someone else will do it.

Well I have vowed to be more proactive in my obedience. When God tell me to do something whether it's give money, pray, go to hear them speak/sing, or speak life into their lives I will do it. Especially when it is give money, buy them something to eat, or support them in any financial form. Full Time ministry is not a joke and I am a firm believe that God will supply the need but I also know that he will use me if I allow him to do so.

So, although I am not sure what the dream means, I feel it is something that God is trying to get our attention for. People of God, support one another and stop letting wounded soldiers on the battlefield die because we are too selfish to give a helping hand.

Your thoughts...

What Is Really Going On With Kanye?

So we all have seen the VMA awards, where Kanye rudely interrupted Taylor Swift's thank you speech. His message, Beyonce's video was great. So did he expect them to take the award from Taylor and give it to Beyonce. What was he really thinking. Now I understand that Kanye has always been a bit rough around the edges. However, since his mother's death he been out of control. His excuse that he has not mourned his mother death, that may be a part of it but what about the adverse behavior before she died.

How dare he try to blame his mother's death for that blatant and obnoxious behavior. Had it been anyone that is not famous they would have never made it to the stage. I think we are sending the wrong message to celebrities. We expect them to act with bad behavior and make a absolute nuisance of themselves. We laugh, we cry, we become enraged but we still buy their records, movies and any Magazine that carries their likeness. So are we supporting this bad behavior. Are we telling celebrities like Kanye that it is OK to behavior poorly.

I think Kanye should get somewhere, sit down and regroup. BUT more importantly, I think we as the general public need to hold EVERYONE accountable for their own actions. Let's stop letting the Tele-Evangelist preach to us but when found in sin we do not tell them to get it right. the movie star can trample on the institution of marriage and we just look the other way. When are we going to step up and say that we were built on morals, and those morals still stand true today.

If you are a christian, you should live according to the Bible. If you don't know the Lord and have not accepted him into your life then you should consider what that means. You don't know to do better until you know. At some point, you got to be willing to know the difference. So Kanye, let the truth set you free, if you need to deal with your mother's death, do it. If you need to deal with your thought process do it, but it is not acceptable to be a villain or rude.

That is just how I see it.