Now I Can Breathe Again

Now that our church anniversary is over, I feel like I can breathe again. The church anniversary was a wonderful time of blessing and refreshing. Each year it seems to take more and more out of me. this year I was a bit depressed, one because being in full-time ministry I am not able to go shopping like I would like to do in these special times. Also, we always have a financial obligation to handle for the church. Now if I had the money it would not be a major source of stress for me but I don't ever have to money. However, this year, I thought it would be easier for me because i had streams of income that was suppose to come in in time for me to handle this gift to the church. However, at the last minute it all fell a part. the money I thought I would have never showed up.

So of course, I was stressed trying to trust God to do what I have heard he does for others in my situation. Now I had other obligations to do, my mother brought the robe I had to order and I stepped out on faith to order the cincture and put 20.00 on it. But when the day came to pick it up I did not have the rest of the money to pay for it, so I went to the store and asked the owner if I could borrow it for the event I needed it for and would return it. He moved by God just said I will trust you and when you get the money bring it to me. God showed me that he can work in mysterious ways but still I did not get the money to pay the anniversary gift. Now the anniversary has come and gone and I could be asked any day now if i paid it. I will have to tell the truth but I keep hoping that God will come through for me.

So this leads to what is on my heart...This may sound a bit backwards but it is where I am at and I told God that I can not fake before him and he already knows this. I know the scriptures... I know that God can supply my need according to his riches in glory and through Christ I can do all things. I know that He owns a cattle on a thousand hill and the wealth of the wicked is laid up for the just. I know all this but do i really believe it. every time I have to trust God for the impossible in my finances, I tend to have very little faith. I tend to think that I don't deserve God to do it for me because in actuality, he has done it but not like he has done it for others. For example a  friend of mine got blessed with 225.00, it just appeared in her purse. Another friend  got 100.00 given to her so she could get her robe, another friend got money to help her. I know God had my mother help me with my robe. But I guess my question is, I been asking god for months now for the money to give the anniversary gift. However, I am still in need.

then there is the balance on my cincture, I guess my question in all this is God will you do it for me like you have done it for so many others. What's the difference between my faith and their faith. I know you are not a respecter of persons; so what you do for one you are bound to do for the other. I know that I can rest on that. So as I said I can breathe again and rest in knowing that God is sovereign and he will do what he wants to do, how he wants to do it and when he wants to do it. Now I am trying to learn his timing is not my timing and the things we worry about don't make him nervous. BREATHE!