Thus saith the Lord or did He?

I just starting "Thus Saith The Lord" by John Bevere. Man oh Man. Let me share with you a part that really made me think about my ministry and those that I have comein contact. Sometimes I think we do things thinking we are hearing from the lord but are we truly hearing from god or are we hearing from self?


Ok here is what I want to share...

Flesh vs Promise

The Bible reveals that prophetic ministry will play a crucial role in preparing the church for the Lord's return. Peter quoted the prophet Joel, who said that sone and daughters, menservants and maidservants will prophesy (Acts 2:16-18 and Joel 2-28-31). The enemy know this as well. He longs to cripple or prevert the prophetic and diminsh its effectiveness. He wants the church to remain fleshy, for then the precious is mised with the vile.

It comes as no surprise that a biblical pattern exist that applies to much of the current prophetic ministry. More often than not the Ishmael precedes the Isaac. Flesh will try to bring forth what only the Spirit can. Allow me to explain. When he was seventy-five, Abraham received a promise from God that he would have a son. After eleven years of waiting he and his wife devised a plan of action. Hagar, his wife's slave girl, was given to Abraham, and a son named Ishmael was born.

God allowed this and must have thouhgt, If they think they can bring forth MY promise through their flesh; I will wait until Abram's reproductive system is dead. Then I'll bring forth MY son of promise. Why? Because He will not allow flesh to glory in His sight! Thirteen more years passed, and both of them were dead reproductively (romans 4:19). Then Sarah conceived and gave birth to Isaac. Paul wrote:

The son of the slave wife was born in a humnan attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God's Promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God's own fulfillment of his promise. (Galatians 4:23, NLT)

God has promised to restore the prophetic in full power before Jesus returns (Acts 3:20-21). This expectation permeates the church. However, I have witnessed flesh's attempt to bring forth what God has promised.

There is the prophetic ministry of promise born of the will of the Father and there is the prophetic ministry born of the flesh and the will of man. What is the difference? Though both are conceived through geniune desire to fulfill God's plan and promise, the one birthed in flesh must be maintained by flesh while the one birthed by the Spirit will be sustained by the Spirit. Flesh reproduces flesh and therefore speaks directly to the desires of man. Spirit reproduces Spirit and therefore speaks forth the desires of God. The purpose of this book is the deiscern between the voices. For though the words of flesh may be pleasant to our ears, they will lead us into defilement, destruction or possibly death. Words of the Spirt, even if initially unpleasant, lead to the heart of God.

Let's be mindful of the spirit we operate in when we are giving a word to the people of God.

Let me share this with you too...

Pastor Ted Haggard of new Life Ministries in Colorado Springs, Colorado wrote in Ministries Today a few years back.

There are three levels of Prophesy:

1." Thus saith the Lord..." or "I hear the Lord saying..."
This is the highest form of prophesy. This is given when a believer is claiming to speak for God Himself. This type of prophecy is either 100 percent right or 100 percent wrong. Using this type of prophecy means that there can be no other opinions or contrary thought. Because the Lord has spoken, the discussion is over.

2. "It seemed to the Holy Spirit, and to us" (Acts 15:28)
This type of prophecy reflects a general consensus about the will of God. It may or may not be 100 percent accurate, but by saying this a group is saying that to the best of their ability they believe this is the will of God for a particular situation.

3. "Does this mean anything to you?" or What do you think about this?"
When, as we pray for people, a word or thought comes to mind, we can inquire of them what God is doing in their lives. Sometimes the Lord leads us into prophetic intercession. This could also be called a word of wisdom or a word of knowledge (1 Cor 12:8). This type of prophecy makes no claims of authority.

We must read carefully what the word of the Lord says about those with prophectic ministries and how they should operate. In the same way we will not allow people to speak a false or pagan doctrine in our pulpits or churches, or we reject a liberal theology that doesn't line up with the Word of Truth, we must be equally vigilant that prophetic ministries line up with the Word of God. Not saying we reject it all but saying that we try the Spirit by the Spirit and that we test all prophecy as stated in I Thessalonians 5:19-21.

Be blessed and encouraged!
READY...AIM...FIRE!!!
Evangelist Linda Hillman







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Please Your Help Needed!!!!!

Your Help Needed

There are opportunities to expand WHOLE Ministries and Living Above Hurt Ministries.

I am asking you to see the good that these ministries can offer to those that are hurting, dealing with addictive habits and hangups. These ministries operate as free services to those that come for help. However, we can not continue helping those in need without your help.

There is a need for $3,000 to pay for supplies, renting rooms for services, food, clothes and providing counseling for rape, domestic violence victims and other violent crimes. we also provide training to those seeking employment and resume services.

In this economy, we all need a helping hand and we do not want to turn anyone away. Please send your donations to Evangelist Linda Hillman via PayPal at evangelistlindahillman@hotmail.com or send your money orders/checks to 4719 Quail Lakes Drive Ste G-347, Stockton, CA 95207 make money orders/checks payable to Linda Hillman.

To reach our goal, it only takes 60 people to send $50.00, or 120 people to send $25.00, or 300 people to send $10.00. Any donation is helpful. Please pass along to your friends and family that are looking for a nonprofit to donate to.

All donations are tax - deductible and all monies will be used for ministry. Your help appreciated. I know that we all want to help those that are coming through these ministry and even if you cant help in person your donations will help get the job done. The opportunities being presented to these ministries are absolutely wonderful and in time will allow us to serve more and spend our services to different areas.

Thanks for taking the time to read this message. Please make a donation, even if you think someone else is doing it, make a donation to help.

Evangelist Linda Hillman

Don't let your memories hinder your freedom

Accountability Is Responsibility

"Scholar Viktor Frankl, neurologist and psychiatrist, founder of logo-therapy and one of the key figures in existential therapy, in his book Man's Search for Meaning recommended 'that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast (that has become a symbol of Liberty and Freedom) should be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.' His thought was that 'Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness.'"

I have been thinking a whole a lot about accountability. At first it was accountability versus responsibility, then I realize that you can not have accountability without responsibility. There in lies the rub. Many people want greatness and want fame but they do not want to be held accountable or responsible. Thus you get people making up the rules as they go because no one has defined the rules for them. Actually, we in America have the "You're not the boss of me" syndrome. We don't want anyone to question our actions and we want to play by our own made up rules, that we will bend to favor our situations every time.

"Accountability is a concept in ethics and governance with several meanings. It is often used synonymously with such concepts as responsibility, answerability, blameworthiness, liability, and other terms associated with the expectation of account-giving" (wikipedia.com)

I remember as a child I would play games and each time I played the game I would make up my own rules and when one of my friends would question me, I would change the game or intimidate them until they backed down from the challenge. I find that in my adult life, I do the same thing. I am good at expressing what I want to say and if someone seems to second guess themselves, I will intimidate them until I get my way. well, of course this causes people to think of me as pushy, mean, unbending and other adjectives, I am sure you can guess. However, as I thought about this the question came to me...Is this what I have called you to be? Did I call you to be an island to yourself? My thoughts flooded with scriptures trying to defend my position. I don't need any one to tell me what I should be doing because I have to "work out my own salvation with fear and trembling." (Philippians 2:12). But when I look at this scripture closer something leaped out to me. Let's look at it briefly:

And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Philippians 2:11-13

Okay, now that does not sound like I get to do it my own way. It sounds like I have been taught how to act according to certain guidelines and rules. It sounds like I have a responsibility to God to obey the things I have been taught. Not to go about making my own rules and acting stubborn. If I say that I am a Christian, then I should act accordingly. Christians are not self existing agents. We should have a covering and there should be someone that holds us accountable to do what we have been taught and do what is right in the sight of the Lord. This brings glory to God. So let me ask this...If God is a God of order and he has set certain things in place, such as church authority, why would I consider myself immune to God's ordained hierarchy?

I have friends who tell me that they don't have to go to a church but they can do ministry without a covering. God knows their hearts and they are only accountable to God. On the onset, that sounds good. However, when I read Romans 13:1-2 and Hebrews 13:7, 17, I see that it was never God intention for us not to have a covering. He did not say we have to agree with that covering or even like the covering, however, we are to respect, honor and adhere to (obey) the covering. So, it is my responsibility to be held accountable to those that God has set over me because in actuality they are accountable to Him concerning me.

"Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation." (Romans 13:1-2)

"Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation." (Hebrews 13:7)

 "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." (Hebrews 13:17)

So where does my thoughts take me in all this...as I learn how to be obedient to my authorities, I need to also learn submission. I need to understand that God knows who he has set over me and His concern for me is to walk in integrity.  For the bible says, anyone in authority should be on who is blameless, in other words we should be people of accountability not only to authority but to those we serve.

"For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee: If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly."(Titus 1:5-6)

 My prayer is that I am blameless and can be held accountable and responsible for the things I say and do. Which means, those that are covering me should call me on the carpet if my actions are questionable. Instead of becoming pushed out of shape and angry, I just need to give an account. In the end hopefully when they are called to give an account about me, they will say, That I was good and faithful and they will say it with joy and not sorrow.

Why Would You Do That?

Some people are dream killers. They get close enough that you will share your ultimate dream and then they pounce. They laugh, smirk or some other hateful thing that makes you feel like crap. You have taken the time to see beyond your circumstance, to see that there may be some sense to this mediocre existence. Now, you feel that your plight in life is less than noble. That sinking feeling you are experiencing is your dream dying.

Most people don't even know that their actions and words have damaged the very core of your existence. They just thought they were keeping it real. Let me ask you this, what is real about saying that I cant accomplish my dreams because it has never been done before. What is real about doubting what I believe gives me meaning. I know these people are trying to help but really sometimes I just want to say, "WHY did you do that?"

I am a dreamer, that means I dream of things in the night. I have visions and they are not small. THEY are HUGE. So, I get it that sometimes my dream and visions may scare you. They scare me sometimes. But I will not allow you to make me feel silly for dreaming. I will not allow you to make me lose sight of who I am. Somethings are just bigger than you and I and if you really think about it, the mere fact that you are here is a miracle. You had never been here before. No one thinks quite like you but no one comes to you and says, You can't exist because you are different. Strange thing is most people like you because you are different.

So, please let me be my unique self and dream a big dream. When i share it with you...Just let me share it. Don't say what you think or feel. Just let the dream live. If it is not meant to be I will get over it sooner or later. Just like I had to learn to crawl then walk...Let me live this out. Remember I only have one life and if you kill my dreams then you are killing who I am. I understand you want to protect me and make sure that I don't go through unnecessary trials and mistakes, but really isn't that a part of life.

Here's the thing, you let me be me and I will not hinder you from being you. then we both can accomplish the best life now. Sound like a plan? Just stop killing my dreams, or I will ask you, "WHY did you do that?"

Andrew M. Manis: When Are WE Going to Get Over It?

Andrew M. Manis is associate professor of history at Macon State College in Georgia and wrote this for an editorial in the Macon Telegraph.
For much of the last forty years, ever since America "fixed" its race problem in the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, we white people have been impatient with African Americans who continued to blame race for their difficulties. Often we have heard whites ask, "When are African Americans finally going to get over it?

Now I want to ask:

"When are we White Americans going to get over our ridiculous obsession with skin color?

Recent reports that "Election Spurs Hundreds' of Race Threats, Crimes", "Sarah Palin Says, It's Time To Reload", or Glenn Beck saying, "We All Need To Grab Our Guns And Get Ready", should frighten and infuriate every one of us. Having grown up in "Bombingham," Alabama in the 1960s, I remember overhearing an avalanche of comments about what many white classmates and their parents wanted to do to John and Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King. Eventually, as you may recall, in all three cases, someone decided to do more than "talk the talk."

Since our recent presidential election, to our eternal shame we are once again hearing the same reprehensible talk I remember from my boyhood.

We white people have controlled political life in the disunited colonies and United States for some 400 years on this continent. Conservative whites have been in power 28 of the last 40 years. Even during the eight Clinton years, conservatives in Congress blocked most of his agenda and pulled him to the right. Yet never in that period did I read any headlines suggesting that anyone was calling for the assassinations of presidents Nixon, Ford, Reagan, or either of the Bushes. Criticize them, yes. Call for their impeachment, perhaps. But there were no bounties on their heads. And even when someone did try to kill Ronald Reagan, the perpetrator was non-political mental case who wanted merely to impress Jody Foster.

But elect a liberal who happens to be Black and we're back in the sixties again. At this point in our history, we should be proud that we've proven what conservatives are always saying -- that in America anything is possible, EVEN electing a black man as president. But instead we now hear that school children from Maine to California are talking about wanting to "assassinate Obama." 

Fighting the urge to throw up, I can only ask, "How long?"
How long before we white people realize we can't make our nation, much less the whole world, look like us? 

 
How long until we white people can - once and for all - get over this hell-conceived preoccupation with skin color?

 
How long until we white people get over the demonic conviction that white skin makes us superior?

 
How long before we white people get over our bitter resentments about being demoted to the status of equality with non-whites?

How long before we get over our expectations that we should be at the head of the line merely because of our white skin? How long until we white people end our silence and call out our peers when they share the latest racist jokes in the privacy of our white-only conversations?

I believe in free speech, but how long until we white people start making racist loudmouths as socially uncomfortable as we do flag burners? How long until we white people will stop insisting that blacks exercise personal responsibility, build strong families, educate themselves enough to edit the Harvard Law Review, and work hard enough to become President of the United States, only to threaten to assassinate them when they do?  

How long before we start "living out the true meaning" of our creeds, both civil and religious, that all men and women are created equal and that "red and yellow, black and white" all are precious in God's sight?

Until November 4, 2008, I didn't believe this country would ever elect an African American to the presidency. I still don't believe I'll live long enough to see us white people get over our racism problem.  
 
But here's my three-point plan:  
  First, everyday that Barack Obama lives in the White House that Black Slaves Built, I'm going to pray that God (and the Secret Service) will protect him and his family from us white people.

Second, I'm going to report to the FBI any white person I overhear saying, in seriousness or in jest, anything of a threatening nature about President Obama.
   Third, I'm going to pray to live long enough to see America surprise the world once again, when white people can "in spirit and in truth" sing of our damnable color prejudice,
 
  "We HAVE overcome."

Have you Got My 1st Published Book?

At the age of fourteen, I made up in my mind that I would never do drugs, never become a whore, nor would I loose my mind and I would be a success. Why did I make such an affirmation? Well, a very significant occurrence happened at fourteen, actually several life changing events happened. The first being, I told my mother that a man we trusted had molested me for seven years. As my mother looked at me, I saw the light dim in her eyes. Not only had she failed me as a nurturer and a protector, she knew how I was feeling because she too as a child had been molested. For the first time in my life, I saw a strong woman wonder, how she could rectify this situation without worse making matters. You see, she had sensed things were not right but did not want to cause trouble by planting ideas, if she was wrong. She did not want to make the same mistakes as her mother. So this is a message to mothers, if you sense something is wrong with your child you are probably right. It is better to be safe and protect your child than to be too lenient. As I watched my mother struggled with the idea that this matter could not continue, I felt her pain. However, I wanted to be free of the horror, I had lived with for so many years, the shame that I had felt and the sheer hatred and anger that would boil out of me at the most inappropriate times. I found myself fighting for the sake of fighting. It was almost as if I was trying to control others because I had to surrender control in the still of the night to him. I remember my first fistfight in the sixth grade. I felt liberated with every blow, at this point, I realized that all my anger, my stress, and even rage could be let out on the person I was fighting. The great part about it, to me, was I did not lose, and I walked away with some sense of power. But did I really?


Order your copy directly from me today. (209) 910-4055. 11.99 plus s/h and taxes.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

I came across this and thought I would share this with my readers. I hope you all enjoy it, because this is something I would have said too. - Linda

I’m not one to know the latest pop or R&B songs, but I do know that a popular theme these days is independence. I overheard someone talking about a song entitled, “Independent” and thought I’d look up the lyrics out of curiosity. The only thing was that the lyrics were so profane that I couldn’t even read through them all. Still, it’s the in thing to be independent for those in the world. Many women tout that they don’t need men, and there are loads of men who admire women who don’t need them. We won’t even discuss how many men want to be independent of the responsibility of having wives and children. So, it’s no surprise that many children feel that they don’t need their parents. Finally, there are far too many people who feel like they don’t need God.

While independence does have attributes in the right context, for the most part, glamorizing it has many pitfalls. The Bible instructs us over and over again to depend on God. Yet, when life is going according to our plans and feels easy, we tend to lose our dependence on Him. We can slip into the attitude that says, “That’s okay, I got this one, God.”

However, we must depend on God for everything at all times. Making the decision to depend on Him isn’t a sign of weakness but true strength. As believers, we don’t live by life’s changing circumstances. In the face of possible death, Paul passes on comfort and advice to other believers. He explains in II Corinthians 1:8-9, “we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life. But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead.” Even in the midst of struggle and suffering, Paul reminds us not to trust in ourselves, but God.

Why should we depend on Him? We should depend on Him because He won’t fail us like people, plans, and things often do. Psalm 121:2 says, “My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.” God created us out of His image, and He knows us. He knows our hurts and understands our burdens. In fact, Matthew 8:17 says that Jesus, “Himself took our infirmities and bare our sickness.” It doesn’t matter what the problem is, He can handle it. We just have to trust Him and cast our cares on Him.

We should depend on God because His love for us is constant and never changes. David says, “for all that is in heaven and earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all. Both riches and honour come of thee, and thou reignest overall; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all” (II Chron. 29:11-12). He loves us. He created us, and we should acknowledge His power, might, and greatness.

Depending on God means that we need Him, not just when the going gets rough but just like the air we breathe, we need Him to survive. We must have faith in Him and trust Him with everything. Furthermore, when we depend on God, we submit our will and desires to His authority and His Word. We have to submit to Him and obey Him. We can’t just trust Him with things we feel comfortable letting Him have. He wants us to have total and complete dependence on Him, so we have to let Him have everything.

On a final note, I do want to add that we also need one another. God created Adam and said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Gen. 2:18). As believers, we make up the body of Christ. In chapter twelve in I Corinthians, Paul says that just as the body has many members but is one, so is the body of Christ. We all need each other to complete the work that God has for us to do and to draw others to Him.

When I hear people say that they don’t need anyone, a red flag goes up. I wonder who has hurt or let that person down. We may avoid some hurt and rejection by being independent, but we morph those negatives into an abyss of selfishness, anger, depression, loneliness, and a host of other problems. God has shown me that when I completely depend on Him, my life is filled with peace and joy. I can then reach out freely to others, knowing that just as I am not perfect, no one else is either. I am not tossed to and fro by life’s ups and downs because my total dependence is on Him, the One who holds my future and the world in the palm of His hands.

Depend on Him for that very thing that you’ve been holding onto, refusing to give to Him. Trust Him with it, and watch Him perform a miracle. Your decision to trust Him will empower you with supernatural strength to overcome any obstacle Satan throws your way.

Drop me a line on the Abiding in the Vine FB group page or on www.MaRitaTeague.blogspot.com

Blessings,MaRita

Wicked Linda Is Dead, But Who Is That?

Okay three weeks ago...

I thought I really need to make money or else I have to get a real job. So, I got real determined to do...nothing! Well that is not true but it should be because in the end that is what I did. A big flat nothing. I allowed opportunities to pass me by. I did not ask for what I wanted and I allowed myself to think negatively. This is all contrary to who I say that I am. SO, why would I, Coach Linda Hillman, Empowerment Coach Guru slip back into self destructive habits. Why would I allow myself to give up on me? So many times I tell others "Don't give up on you because I wont" but yet I was not practicing what I preached.

Then it came to me, the struggle is not in the fight but my thoughts. I was willing to fight but had lost sight of what I was fighting for. I want to help people to be the best they can be but that does not come without obstacles on their part and MINE! The things I was facing was I was attracting the people who were interested but not ready to make the change. I was attracting those that said it sounds good, and wow I see why I need your services but were not tired of living in the current situations. I was attracting those similar to myself. WOW that hurts.

What I mean is that I was willing to look in the mirror of life and see the discomfort, I was even willing to acknowledge that change was  needed but I was not willing to make the necessary changes. I was not willing to step out of my comfort zone no matter how much that comfort zone was costing me. I was not willing to invest in me like I was telling my clients to do. So as long as things were free to me I would go full force but as soon as you ask for financial commitment, I was ready to back away stating all  kinds of excuses. Now listen, we find time to do what we want to do. IF we really want something we will do whatever it takes to get that. I understand there are some real issues in this world. I have been self employed for two years going on my third year. So, I know what it means to have NO MONEY. So what am I really willing to do at this point.

Here's the deal, I am willing at this point to stop the MADNESS!! no more games and especially no more lies to my clients or anyone else especially me. Well, I have not told a dishonest thing to anyone. I have just not told everything. Withholding truth is just like lying to me. I think well, they don't need to know this or they don't need to know that but in the course of what I am trying to accomplish, people, my clients need to see the real deal. So I made a pledge.. ONLY the Truth. No more holding back and making excuses.

I hope that you will join me on my journey of self transformation. Let's grow together and make our lives better. So, now a more honest Coach Linda and hopefully my clients will appreciate the transformation in my techniques to coach them to success and those of you that are okay with who you are not achieving your goals, sitting in the same comfort zone that has you standing still and not moving forward, waiting for your next big break that you will allow to pass you by because you are not committed to investing in your life, and those of you that say that sounds good but... I leave your world now...I am off to love me, care for me and accept all that is right for me. I am no longer willing to stand idly by and let my life run it's course with no direction. I am taking matters into my own hands, taking responsibility and hold myself accountable.

So I will see you at the top... or will I? Let me put it this way...I'll be at the top, will you? Time is running out what will you do with the time you have remaining?

Today I wonder

Today I wonder why there are so many people out there saying and doing things that are causing others to falter. I wonder why, when someone truly cares for an individual, they get slapped in the face with obstacles and hangups. On the other hand, when someone is only trying to make a fast buck, they get all the attention.Today, I struggle with my own heart. Should I continue to try to care for others when they clearly want me to only say in word I care but my deeds are far from it. I can not give up but my heart seems to be overwhlemed today with worry.

I want so badly to help those that can benefit from my knowledge but how do I get it to the ones that really need and not just the ones coming to toss it aside. Who am I trying to reach? Who even cares? Well, of course I do but how do I tell them I do?

That's all. That's my hear for today. But who cares?

Excerpts from the Upcoming Book Talitha Cumi: Girl Get Up!

Getting Passed the Past
by Andrea L. Dudley

I sat in the driveway of my home in car, softly crying and asking God when our circumstances would change. When would this hole in my heart be filled? Where was the end to this long dark tunnel? It seemed as though we had been in this place, all too long. The place where you feel alone, vulnerable, tired, fatigued and frustrated! The intense pain that I was feeling felt so foreign. It was almost crippling. I am by no means a cry baby but a person can only take so much, right? He won’t give us more than we can bear, right? He understands, right? Hello God, I’m here, I thought. Is this what we’ve been reduced to?

We had moved back to Michigan after having lived in Wisconsin for 16 years. We had originally moved to Wisconsin in 1987 so that my husband could join the staff of Parklawn Assembly of God church. For 3 years he served as the director of Christian education and for 3 years he served as the senior pastor. After leaving Parklawn, we started our own ministry, Capital Christian Center. We were a cutting edge church doing innovative, aggressive and power packed ministry. We brought in the best ministers and speakers, men & women of God, to teach and train our people. We wanted to expose them to the best of everything. Our time in Milwaukee was very fruitful and we loved being pastors. Being a pastor is very challenging and having the responsibility of the spiritual development of people is a heavy load, but we loved it. I feel that I was groomed for this as my father was a pastor for 25 years and I was pretty much born in church.

So why was I crying and what was wrong? What had brought me to this place of despair & anguish? Anytime there is severe change in your life, there will be pain. P A I N! Many times almost unbearable! I was in mourning. I missed my friends, my church, my surroundings, my favorite restaurants and even the pond in my backyard! I missed the comfort of familiarity. I had received a word from a prophet a few years prior about God getting ready to change my environment but I had no idea that it would be to this extent. I had also missed the comradery of my preacher “friends”, those who we brought in to preach at our church who we went to great lengths to accommodate. Those that we thought were our “friends”. I missed it all, the all day services with Sun Fannin, Sister Bernice’s Red Velvet Cake, the Glory & the Fire, Donis’ Greens & Hot Water Corn Bread, those deep and intense worship experiences where we would weep and worship, Brenda’s Chicken Spaghetti, watching Carl jump off the keyboard in a praise fit, (with James right behind him) and I missed the little kids in the neighborhood saying, “Hey Pastor A”! I missed it all and I missed them all. Even now, as I write, tears well up in my eyes. When you love so deeply, as we loved the members of our church, that love doesn’t stop because you have left them. True love remains forever. We had sown our blood, sweat and tears into the soil of the land and into the lives of people.

and ...

What Matter Most Is How Come

By Linda A. Hillman

Many of us say this phrase after we have come out of a trial or hardship, “What the Devil meant for evil...” However, do we really believe this? What if you are still in the midst of your trial, can you say this phrase? Can you claim the victory even then? Do you ask “Why” me, why did I have to suffer? Do you harbor bitterness and unforgiveness? I know I did too, listen to my testimony and be set free.

I was going through a time of just feeling empty. I had a good life, if I say so myself. I was working, had transportation, a roof over my head, a good church family, and people who cared for and loved me but I could not enjoy it because I was too busy wondering about all the negative things going on in my life. I was dealing with emotional scarring that had taken over my life. I remember falling into deep depressions and having manic mood swings. One day I would be higher than a kite feeling good about life and next I would be lower than the grave. I had lived this way for most of my life. I felt hopeless and lost, even with Christ in my life. My question was always, “Why did God allow this in my life? Why would He allow the test and trials to happen to me, His child?” I had tried to overcome them on my own. I had tried to do what the Bible said but to no avail. The reason being it was done in my own strength. I could not do it and the sad thing was I was not willing to give it over to God either. In many ways, you can say that I was content to live miserably saved. Now what kind of salvation is that?

In your situation, you may be on the brink of your breakthrough and you need to understand that forgiveness for those that tried to take you out IS needed. Let God be God and let Him handle your enemies. You love them and pray for them. You stand firm on God's promises and GET UP! Though you may be down however, you are not out, GET UP! You may be hurting, GET UP! You may be questioning “Why”, GET UP! This is not the time for giving up but for getting up. God has not forgotten His promises to you and He is faithful to complete and bring them to fruition. Get up girl; your destiny is calling you!

Look for Talitha Cumi: Girl Get Up coming soon.